Still Drunk

by supernova

Im still drunk.  I have been drunk since the Chiefs game ended.  We lost.  Like, 30- 478.   Seriously.  I think that was the score.  How do we suck that badly?

Fantabulously.  I love that word.  I love any word that relays something awesome.  He is nicely done.  This is awesome.  That is fantasic.

To the nights I will never remember and the people I will never forget.  Things and stuff are awesome.  People sometimes suck.  And sex is always good, unless only one of you is interested in what is happening…

Wine doesn’t give me the kind of hangovers that beer and say, Vodka/Sprite mixtures do.  WIne will give me a headache only if the wine is really really cheap.  Expensive wine is the most phenomenal kind of drunk becuase I can have a bottle and be drunk as hell and wake up feeling like I excercized and did healthy-shit the night before.  Unfortunately the bottles of wine that are that fabulous are like, $30 and up.  Not a cheap buzz. But fantastic nonetheless.  ….  I’m craving cheese.

I don’t smoke pot.  I just have the weirdest f-ing cravings.  All the freakin time.  Seriously!

I have so much homework that when I think about the amount of homework that I have I get a little bit nautious.  Drinking seems like a better idea at the moment, even on a Sunday night.

I feel bad that I don’t have anything profound to say in these blogs.  No amount of drunk I think is going to get me to change the world.  I might go outside and break a stick and hope the butterfly effect is actually a real concept- and pretend that I have made a massive amount of difference in China.  Yeah.  A good change for china.  Becuase I broke a stick in half.  You don’ t believe me?  You don’t know.  Prove to me my stick-breaking escapades had no fantasmic changes on the Chinese Empire.  (ha ha)

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1891147 (This makes me laugh.  Drunk laughing is awesome.)

In conclusion…  I have got to get to steppin’ on that term paper.  This will not qualify and will probably not be accepted as such.  Oh well.

I hope someone finds it grade-A worthy.  If not, well… then… I owe you a beer.

Peace, homeslice.

Yes. Drunk at 4pm on a Sunday.

by supernova

I think it is fabulous.  I can’t help but have a little drink with lunch- and then maybe have a little wine after that.  (Typing drunk is hard.  Typing drunk requires you to  have a very close relationship with the backspace button.)  The Chiefs are not very good….. by the way…

I like a drink here and there… I Like it when the bartender knows my name and has my drink ready for me.  Heather or Alice or Brandon or whatever the bartender of the night is….  Just hand me another.  You know what I like.

What do I think about when I drink?  How awesome everyone is.  How awesome sex is.  How everything is totally fantastic and everyone is totally awesome and typing is more difficult.  You should have seen what i typed before I delteted it.  Total crap.  I wish I could write a post that made it all seem more awesome.  Looking and reading my post make me wonder if anyone is catching on to the ramblings inside my head.   Maybe not.

I have somewhat of an ADD type thought.  I can start thinking about what I had for breakfast yesterday and end up thinking about calculators.  It all works out.  My bouncy thought process is more interesting inside my head than I think others can fathom from where they are.  Hmmm thought process…

No one can see my drunk eyes from where they sit, I look confused Im sure… like im going to pass out… Im sure I might.

If you rape a prostitute, is it stealing?

I don’t have time for stupid people.  I dont have time for the server I work with who runs into the expo line, confused and wondering what black coffee is?  SHe knows wo have regular and decaf, but do we have black coffeee?  And no, he doesnt want cream.  ?!?!?  If anyone has seen the movie Idiocracy, whether they have liked the movie or not… its true.  People with brains in their head wait to have kids- the dumbest people have hoards of them.  Smart people are going extinct.  We are all going to be counting on our fingers in a few years, and our anwer for how old we are is going to be how many fingers we decide to put up.  Don’t let the smart people go extinct!  Have more sex if you have any type of diploma!  We have to reproduce so the idiots don’t take over the world….

If i had 99 bottles of beer,  I think I’d have 2 then pass out.  Id have what, 97 bottles of warm beer stuck to my wall by the time I woke up the next morning?  I can barely drink Bud Light, much less, warm bud light.  Gross.  Stuck to my wall,  ewww.   I’M CRAVING sex and more wine.  I think I’ll have someone get me a bottle.

more soon.  after dinner with the parents.  maybe..  yes.  dinner with the parents.

My top 5 booze related movies.

by mdavfc

During my tenure as  as avid beer and liquor drinker I have had the opportunity to watch (in a haze) what I consider to be the best drinking movies there are. The problem is that I’m pissed and having trouble remembering, so bare with me.( ie. get another drink). So here goes.

#5 Animal house/ Smokey and the bandit (tie).  Both great movies which involve the quest for beer.

#4 Leaving las vegas. A story of a man ( drunk ) trying to come to grips with  his life and fails, Comedy/ drama, you choose.

#3 Beer fest. Great flick, a bunch of Kraut descendants that battle real Gerries for the title of worlds best beer drinkers. (Highly recommended).

#2 Beer League. This movie is in my top 2 because of all the classic one liners, Plus these guys are playing SOFTball and the gratiutious bashing of Italians,AWESOME.

#1 STRANGE BREW. If none of you agree with this movie FUCK YOU.

Anyway this just my opinion and I would like feed back in case there are movies I have missed.

Cheers to all the faithful, you know who you you fucking monkeys.

P.S>If you watch all these in one sitting, mad repects you drunk.

You know what they need to sell……….

by ramdo43

…is frozen 1/4 sections of pizza…. No, i don’t want a mini pizza. I want a 1/4 of a pizza. Mini pizzas are a waste of time. and they taste bad.

my solution? break a frozen pizza over your leg. but tonight i’m not drunk enough, so it freaking hurts to crack the ‘za (that’s what i call it) over my knee. I have a pretty big welt on my leg right now and it hurts… so i’m writing about it and drinking another beer so the pain goes away…. god i’m not looking forward to class tomorrow.

So… my class tomorrow… a drawing class. a human figures class.

i have to pay for 3 credits to draw naked people for 3 hours, 2 times a week. AT 9 AM.

some of you may think… awesome! no… not so awesome…

for the first time like a month ago, i saw an uncircumsized penis…. one word.. wwoooooaaaahhhh.

ooo my za is done.

Back to my story…. uncircumsized dude… is like 50. very hairy. my first pose of him is BENT OVER. ASS FACING ME. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i’ve always hoped to god to never see that much of any male than i’m with. even for a brief second. nope. i saw this for about 1 min. i’m scarred for life.

old people should nt pose nude.

Musings from Pubcon by Nate T-Rav and Rahn

by jbluej
  • Published:November 14th, 2008
  • Comments:1 Comment
  • Category:Loony Bin
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1. FHa-home-loans.com . . . hmmm. I hope he has g alerts.

2. We lost money but 720 on Cincinnati.

3. Hey Tony dinners on you again.

4. Big ups to Plus1 except Jay.

5. Next year were bringing an assistant. Not jay

6. Kayser B-ry and Mitch can come.

7. Not Jay.

8. Beat Brant in bubble and drinking.

9. That’s what she said!

10. Bougeois lollipop booshie sniz motha fucka.

-Nate

Always Sunny + Pickles + Magic Hat = Awesome

by murfylee

I am ashamed how long it took me to correctly type that title.

So, I love Always Sunny in Philly. It’s on, I’ve had 8(ish?) beers, and I feel prepared to rock your fucking faces off with this tale of disgusting rediculousness.

as told to me by a co-worker, and I just want to state, I am not Sarah, so quit asking:

Tim has been dating Sarah for a few weeks, nothing too serious and she won’t give it up, but he’s really into her, so he’s sticking with it. They’re at dinner one night, and she says, “I think tonight we should seal the deal” (probably phrased it differently, but that’s what I was told). Tim’s super excited, and on the ride home, Sarah says shit like, “I hope you’re into trying new things, I hope you like experimenting, etc.”. Tim’s thinking FUCKING SWEEEEEET!

They get back to her house, and they’re making out when she pauses, and reaches under her bed, and pulls out a blue tarp. He thinks, “fuck yes this is awesome, I got a freak!”. He thinks nothing of it, clothes come off, and when they’re both naked, she reaches over to her bedside table and pulls out a loooooong string of anal beads.

Tim looks at her in amazement, and says, “Sarah, I cannot believe you’re into anal! That’s awesome!”, to which she replys, “ummmmmm these are for you.”

Whoa. Tim’s head explodes. She SOMEHOW calms him down, and convinces him to put these anal beads  up his ass. Whatevs, they’re up there, he just starts smashing that shit like an Idaho potato.

At the height of passion, Sarah reaches around and rips that shit out like she’s starting a weedwacker. PPPPPFFFFFTTTTTT! He shits evvvvvvverywhere (which is where the blue tarp comes in). He is in pure shock, and Sarah leans over and says, “I want you to fuck me in your shit.”

Tim does, and leaves, and hasn’t seen her since.

I feel like a horrible person for a couple reasons:

1) I always tell this story to people I don’t know, and I think it’s funny, but I’m sure it just alienates them.

2) Who the fuck does that?

3) My best friend gave me a blue tarp for my birthday, and it somehow wound up under my bed, and I still can’t convince people I’m not Sarah.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed the story. I love to tell it. If you ever hear it, I probably told that person the Blue Tarp story. Sorry. It’s gross. Always Sunny is the best show ever.

Hoooooraaaaaay Magic Hat!

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