• Published:November 6th, 2008
  • Comments:1 Comment
  • Category:News
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Welcome back! Hopefully you're feeling a little tipsy and are ready to post some drunken ranting. Cheers!

Well, no doubt that some of you got to my site via Facebook ads. I no longer have a coupon or extra money to devote to those Facebook ads but I am thinking about going annoying style and making a Facebook app to show off your drunken stories and send people beers and invites to the site.

But until then, we have a contest.

The contest is, the person with the best post win a fifth of alcohol, their choice (as long as its between $20-$30 (sorry international guys, you only get cash to use to buy booze)). You must be 21 to play. No purchase necessary.

The best post shall be decided by points given via number of unique IP comments multiplied by rating. The contest is running for a month starting today (Nov 5th-Dec 5th).

Get posting. Get spreading the word and get some votes and comments, you could be the brand new owner of a delicious fifth of alcohol.

I am also not able to win, being the site owner. Boo hoo.

Okay, I basically run this place, that’s cool n’ shit. But man, you guys are so much better drunken bloggers than I am. This is kind of embarrassing, I mean I fucking built this house. Besides, I get hammered for the sole purpose of relaying you information about the site, how bad ass is that?

Big shout out to my best friends wilkdaddy, zombie and soup, mucho appreciate the drunken thoughts. Mucho? It kind of means “much”. That’s mexican my friend.

What’s changed on the drunk blog?

The answer is not too fucking much. First of all, that random password this is a thing of the past thanks to this post.

ju89kjMN” what? Try “needleringostarr” instead. Much better. Or perhaps “mantoothpaste” or “ringostarrspoon” (coincidence, honestly). In case you are curious, click here for an example of one of the possible password combinations. Just hit refresh for a new one. Entertainment?

Math Revue (fuck off guy with a knowledge beyond spell check):

I have 527 words possible in the list (for now). Since I just randomly combine two words from the list together to make your password, there is a total combination of 5272 assuming we don’t care about repeats. That’s a grand total of 277,729 different combinations. Wanna brute force? Fine, I’ll ban your IP. Geek cred.

PS: Don’t think 277,729 combos is enough? I can try 146,363,183 combos with three words stringed via 5273. Let me know in the comments. Your peace of mind is absolute.

I’ve also added a rating system.

You’ll also notice that I’ve added a rating system. This is to vote on the usefulness (unlikely) of a post vs. the uselessness (very likely) of a post. The highest rated post every week will be listed in the sidebar along with the top ten from 2 months. If ten seems too a fucking normal number, we will modify it to whatever the 18th comment recommends, case settled. No argument.

I’ve also added a new welcome message.

For the first 3 times you visit the drunk blog, you’ll see a message welcoming you, encouraging you to sign up and encourageing you to post. For the next 7 times, you’ll see a message welcoming you back, and ecouraging you to post. I am thinking about adding an unlimited number for the welcome you back but a quick link to opt out of the (sometimes) annoying message. Again, the comments will tell the story.

And so forth…

And finally I get to the meat of the issue. No more work.

I’ve often wondered what the fuck the deal was with cocaine. I’m not interested in it but in the same way I wonder about supermodels I would bang, what super coke fiends would I snort with? Let’s say:

  • Tim Allen
  • George Clooney (not Batman George Clooney)
  • Robert Downey Jr.
  • Bob Saget

They’d all be awesome. Wikipedia their asses for info.

Once I also shot a deer in the heart, I would imagine that coke would only have improved the adolescent satisfaction I felt. It probably deserved it in a way, I mean, who among us are innocent? Rumor has it that Bambi raped children so I don’t know what to tell you, you sick Bambi loving freaks. What a perfect cover.

I once got into a fight with the ground. It was a general gravity/personal indifference misunderstanding. He was all like “I weight 13,170,856,500,000,000,000,000,000 lbs” (sober correction: I forgot a 0) and I was all like “I weigh 190 lbs”. Strangely, I lost. Something about a 32.17 feet/second pull of gravity did me in. I still have the scar. Fuck Earth.

I also enjoy being so blacked out that I forget what happened. The next day, I like to play “drunk detective” and figure out what happens. Usually that means calling my girlfriend and apologizing and then downing 13 shots of Svedka. Also, I can’t wait to act Russian in Keystone resort. Rosetta stone, here I fucking come.

Alright, here I am again after a couple nonsense posts that involved too many topics and too many beers, but I’d like to talk to you about a serious affair: pets. Seriously, what the hell? You know how sometimes you finally look at a word sans its definition and common connotations, it finally is just noise that people have attached a meaning to? Well, that’s kind of like how I have come to feel about pets.

For Example:

Don’t think of the word pets, just think about what they basically are. Animals. Pets are animals. Animals are cool. I like eating animals. I am not a member of PETA, my basic goal is to point out how silly we are about animals. Other animals.

Animals

We take animals and lock them in our homes. They are our pets. We feed them. They are animals. Isn’t that a bit strange? I have no problem with keeping animals as pets, and no problem with when people eat them (delicious). I do think it is rather odd that we take an otherwise seperate animal and lock them in our homes.

It’s a bit curious, we take a lizard (let’s say an iguana), and lock it in a neat little cage attempting to recreate what its used to.  He surely won’t be doing much in his 16 oz world. I have no feelings for him, I just wonder what drives us to hide said lizard in a cage in our homes. Its odd at the very least.

Pets

Just think about it for a second. Outside of the box, per say. Our pets. Our dogs and cats and fish. What in thef hell are they doing in here?

Dogs that do shit for us, more understandable. Dogs that shit for us, less understandable.

By the way, I would say I am about 9 drinks in.

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