Happy New Year: The drunkard’s holiday

by peepants

Welcome back! Hopefully you're feeling a little tipsy and are ready to post some drunken ranting. Cheers!

Well, it’s everyone’s holiday but everyone almost is drinking and or drunk.

They join us, this day.

How did the NYE celebration go for you? Tell me about it here.

I have some beer I snagged from the party–I was tipsy. I grabbed chicken, empanadas and beer. I brought Heineken pony keg and left it there–it’s a guy’s beer. I liked the commercial of everyone’s home bar. It was nice. I too would like to have a boxcar on my vast property and turn it into a bar.

Anyways, have a good NY and post your stories of escapades! I think I laughed for four hours at my brother’s party.

I was grateful for that.

Why can’t I have what the fk I want? An adult tantrum

by peepants

I have been trying to figure out a way to get what I want, when I want it. And who I want it from when I want him but I can’t. I cannot figure it out. I’m trying to skate out of any responsibility I have to humanity, as it stands,  let alone him, for I am a selfish bitch. I do no right–I just write–cause it seems all wrong: But I got a sip of whiskey.

I’m just wanting to be like this for a little while, as a break. A break for sanity.

Anyway, I’m running low on whiskey but I don’t care because I’m thinking of running away. I need to chill on drinking anyway, so it can taste good when I do get it.

I hate that fucker who stalks me. Ooh, I know what–next time he fucks up my good time, I’ll invite him over for sex. He’ll buckand run for sure.

If he calls my bluff, I’m fucked literally and figuratively. Hope he doesn’t call my bluff. I just do like the sneaky little nasty things I do, without anyone knowing. It’s so sweet and sticky that way. And I was getting good at it too for like a day. Then either someone told or Stalker checked his list of bitches to terrorize and I was up for a good bashing.

Whatever.

I got a sip of whiskey and some friends to call; Some sushi to make, some noodles to fry in sesame oil; A kitchen to burn down and a floor to fall on, as I got a sip of whiskey.

I have had two sips on a one-drink minimum.

(Teacher, teacher please don’t grade this because it’s for extra credit.)

Scapegoat alcohol

by peepants

The only reason I keep drinking is so that I have something to blame my behavior on. A couple of times I fucked up and didn’t drink before I did/said/wrote something stupid and I had to be truthful in that I don’t have to be drunk to do and say certain things. I just want the right to do/say/be/think/write what the fuck I want without bullshit thrown back in my face. And ’cause I like it.

Well, I don’t want to break the rules, so I’ll open that Mickey’s tall boy in the back of my fridge. Actually, I forgot it was there.

Everyone I know, who is interesting, drinks.

Gulp, sip, sip. I should learn to sip my beer.

Gosh, that is good and refreshing! Beer, when left in the refridge for a long time, is at it’s best. It’s not superficially cooled. This one was in the ‘fridge for about a week or two because I forgot about it The last beer or the forgotten beer is always the best. That is the beer that hides behind the mayo or under the lettuce or next to the rotting cucumber with slime oozing out of the bruise. I hate slimy, decaying veggies.

Or too lazy/fat/drunk/stupid to bend all of the way down to look thoroughly in the ‘fridge.

And although it is before noon, beer–even a malt liquor such as Mickey’s–is okay to drink. Mostly because I fkn say it is. Mood swings, uggh.

I like to do it when I drink. The canned version doesn’t have those freakin’ puzzles on it. You can determine your drunkenness by that dumb ass puzzle-especially if you save it and figure it out when you are sober. If you can’t figure it out then, well whatever.

A shot of whiskey wouldn’t hurt but I ain’t gettin’ up to go get it.

Now, I’m watching the news.

Why the fk would an appearance on SNL help Sarah “MILF-of-the-year” Palin get votes? How the f can you watch TV out on the street? Why would you care about SNL then? You need a TV and a place to sit. You gotta buy at least one drink sittin’ at a bar and tip well to get them to turn to SNL. (Depending on where you drink.)

I’m becoming a mean drunk.

All that damn money and banks still won’t loan. A lot of people will soon be drinking. Give up and drink. I wonder what goes through the mind of those who are in charge of this money bailout crap? Do they drink?

Naw, I bet they get high–weed and coke. I’m a lightweight–half a beer buzz and that’s it.