As I sit here drinking yet another Maker’s Mark on the rocks it is 9am here. My drunkenness at such an early hour is not as untoward as it would seem as I work nights. I’d like to share my current hobby with you, fellow drunks. I have recently begun a quest to march, one liquor at a time, all the way across a liquor store. Each week I choose a new liquor from the shelf, drinking only that new booze for the week. This week, obviously, is Maker’s Mark. I’m not really drinking the entire liquor store. I generally stay away from both the very top shelf (too damned expensive) and the bottom shelf (I could probably distill better myself). I am embracing the Modern Drunkard lifestyle and loving every minute of it.
I’ve grown to truly dislike the current state of society. People suck. Not very eloquent but there it is. People suck. Sure, there are exceptions. There are occasions when a stranger helps you with your bags or holds a door for you or just makes friendly conversation while standing in line at the grocery store. But mostly, people suck.
I’ve begun to appreciate the lifestyle of the Drunk so much so that I see it in my head that way. I’m not drunk .. I’m Drunk. Now I’m not embarking on a Leaving Las Vegas or anything as I still have faith things can improve. Hell, beyond the hope that society improves is the increasing feeling that I just don’t give a shit what happens to society.
We, the Drunks, should embark on a quest to independently make society better. Not their society. Ours. Fuck the sober people. The new world should be about us. Those of the steady .15BAC. Go out of your way to be nice to a fellow Drunk today. Offer a complete stranger a drink. More booze. For the good of mankind.
And for the good of the Drunks.