Dibble

by wilkdaddy

The password they give you is REALLY hard to type after you’re rounding 14 drinks of whiskey.  Don’t judge me now, c’mon…even the bike cop was laughing as we attempted to walk home.

The bartender is way too hot, honestly..not even fair.  Flirting is a sexual harrassment suit waiting to happen, believe me.  And she works for tips…probably has herpes.  Dammit, i still tipped her.  Now my money has herpes.  I didn’t like that money anyway.

Drunchies….drunk + munchies.  taquitos…glorious.  tastes even better with huey lewis on the radio.

I think my roommate just ralphed.  probably for the better, makes me seem like less of an alcoholic.  ralph is a funny word.

wobbly is also a funny word.

I ran over a racoon with a security vehicle one time.  made his eye pop out.  didn’t feel sorry for it at all.  I just imagined that he’d cheated on his racoon wife, and never paid child support to his racoon kids after the divorce.  bastard.  i’m glad i ran over him.

A really hot girl ran up to me today walking home from class.  i got excited, but she only wanted to tell me that i had “hair goop” in my hair.  she’s real nice.  probably has herpes too.  bitch. i meant to have hair goop glopped all over the back of my head.  leave me alone.

“dribble” is also a funny word.

Thank you for hearing my thoughts.  wait, i don’t even know you.  i have to pee.

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8 Comments

  1. Fuck raccoons, they are child beaters of the nocturnal world.

    #1 godfather

  2. Also, I fixed that shitty password thing. Now everyone has easy passwords like “pantsneedle” and “showerrobot”.

    #2 godfather

  3. raccoons are assholes, my drunk thoughts exactly.

    #3 wilkdaddy

  4. what type of whiskey?
    I like black label but i’m drinking old crow

    #4 peepants

  5. Ah, my buddy Jim Beam it was (emphasis on WAS)… but I do have a bottle of Old Crow in the bar I’ve frequented

    #5 wilkdaddy

  6. Try listening to Prince while drinking Purple Rains with Tacos… even better.

    #6 Randi

  7. Prince? I wouldn’t have thought of that. I like the upbeat, silly 80’s music though while recreationaly altered.

    #7 wilkdaddy

  8. One night downtown, my friends and I played the ENTIRE Purple Rain soundtrack…. Needless to say, we cleared that bar out fast with our singing…

    #8 Randi

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