Please enjoy The Drunk Blog

• Published:July 12th, 2008
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• Category:Social Commentary
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Well, I’m about 12 drinks in and I’ve realized something after spending a night failing to do anything remotely interesting. Society is destined to fail, and by fail, I mean a glorious failure of Christian magnitude. And by Christian magnitude, I mean in every fucking way possible. This is basically because we, the general population, have fucked up so bad that even the sweet, nectarine Lord himself couldn’t save us from ourselves. I present:

Exhibit A: N.A.S.C.A.R. Barbie

This sickening display should not only disgust car enthusiasts, but also whatever Barbie enthusiasts remain. Jesus H. Christ, why in the hell is there even such a thing as a “Barbie Enthusiast.” I mean, what in the fuck was the sweet lord thinking during the flood when he let the eventual precursor family that eventually spearheaded the introduction of the N.A.S.C.A.R. Barbie survive?

It’s not so much a question of “Where did he go wrong?” but “Why the fuck did he let this go so obviously wrong?”. I mean, a retarded monkey with mechanical balls could tell you this was a bad idea, but yet, they went through with it. And worse, much, much worse, is that it was probably entirely successful. That my friends, is why, in part, there can logically be no god.

If you really step back and think about it, it becomes rather obvious. The Barbie Doll is a sickening beacon of our failure as a society that upholds basic intellectual principals. For example, here is a common lesson Barbie bestows on impressionable young girls:

Don’t worry, you’ve got nice tits young’n! Many a man will be impressed by your bossum and grant you many years of work free solitude!

Wow. Reading over my last sentence before my brief departure from reality into the mind of wicked parents who blatently distort reality to serve the ridiculous fantasies of CEO’s and other useless men, I’ve realized that perhaps I am being a little harsh. Essentially correct, but harsh none-the-less.

I wouldn’t wish the N.A.S.C.A.R. Barbie upon anyone, ever. Except Jesus. And the entire fucking writing crew behind The Bible.

Oh, I also dispise organized religion.